Submissive Wives

by David W. Roth

Part I

(Eph 5:22-24 KJV) "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. {23} For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. {24} Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."

The subject for today's study is the wife's proper role within the family, in particular, what it means to live in submission to her husband.

Before we examine what the Bible teaches regarding the wife's role within the family we must understand this teaching in light of the broader context. The Apostle Paul has just finished exhorting the church concerning the importance of being filled with the Holy Spirit of God and the expected outworking of such filling. (Ephesians 5:18-21)

This is important because obedience to the command to "be filled with the Spirit," lays the necessary foundation to live in accordance with the remaining teaching of this epistle. This is especially true when we consider the God-ordained structure of the home.

Without the Holy Spirit's influence and control over our lives, this high standard for family life is but a mere dream with no possible hope of fulfillment.

Let us take for example our study for today: if the wife is to fulfill her God-ordained role to live in loving submission to her husband, then she will need the influence and control of the Holy Spirit over her life to obey such a command. Because no one, male or female, parent or child is naturally submissive.

We are born into this world rebels!

Take for example the standard set-forth for the husband to "love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it"! To love your wife with the devotion and self-sacrifice of Christ is an impossible standard if not for the power and control of the Holy Spirit.

For there to be harmony within the home, it demands a supernatural work of God in each of our hearts in order to enable us to live at such a high level of obedience.

For the next several weeks and maybe months we will pay particular attention to the God given roles of each member of the family unit. This is especially important when we consider that way back in the book of Genesis, it is through the establishment of the family unit that God purposed to fill the earth with a people who would worship and honor Him.

The very first command regarding mankind is seen in the Genesis account of creation and it involves the filling of the earth with a people of God.

(Gen 1:27-28 KJV) "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. {28} And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth."

Some may argue that now that sin has entered into the world, God has set aside His original mandate to use the family to fill the earth with a people of God.

It is interesting that about 2,000 years after Adam and Eve were expelled from the garden of God because of their high treason against Him, that it is said that the world had become so wicked that God determined judgement upon it.

(Gen 6:5-8 KJV) "And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. {6} And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. {7} And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. {8} But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD."

Had it not been for the grace of God in sparing Noah and his family from the judgement brought about through the flood, mankind as a whole would have ceased to exist and rightfully so.

What I find interesting in the account of Noah, is that after their departure from the ark, God reiterated the original mandate that He had given to Adam and Eve.

(Gen 9:1-2 KJV) "And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth. {2} And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered."

Throughout both the Old and New Testaments we find that God lays tremendous stress upon the importance of the family unit. We see in the book of Deuteronomy that one of the primary means of evangelism is the passing down of one's faith from generation to generation.

(Deu 6:4-7 KJV) "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: {5} And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. {6} And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: {7} And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up."

As we turn to the New Testament we, discover something more striking regarding the husband/wife relationship. It is designed by God to be a living, breathing object lesson to the world of Christ and His relationship to the church.

(Eph 5:32 KJV) "This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church."

Although it in not the purpose of this message to examine the details of this particular passage, suffice it for now to understand that after Paul labors to establish the importance of the husband and wife fulfilling their God-ordain roles in the home, he sums up his teaching by stating that the marriage union pictures the relationship that Jesus enjoys with the church.

I believe this is one of the primary reasons why the scriptures teach that God hates divorce. Aside from the incredible damage that divorce has upon the family unit, especially when children involved, is the fact that divorce destroys the God-ordained object lesson of Christ and His church. Divorce and disharmony within the home destroys the picture that God is seeking to paint before the world.

Throughout these upcoming studies on the home we must be careful that we do not lose sight of this fundamental purpose of the Christian home. The Christian home is to be a picture of the relationship that Jesus Christ enjoys with His bride, the church.

I would like to introduce, in the order given to us by God, the wife's role of submission within the home.

(Eph 5:22 KJV) "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

I would like to begin by pointing out that this is one of the most misused and abused passages of scripture pertaining to the order of the home.

This passage has been used by men of all walks of life to demean and suppress women. Some men have even gone so far as to use this passage to demonstrate their imaginary superiority over women and to reduce them to nothing more than household slaves. I would imagine that in some homes the husbands have etched these words in granite.

If any husband uses this passage to advance his own selfish agenda he has greatly misunderstood the meaning of this text. To illustrate my point, I was mentioning to my wife Darcie that I would be speaking today on the subject of the wife's role of submission within the home. The look on her face said it all!

I am quite certain that many women this morning are cringing at the thought of having to sit through several weeks of teaching regarding the role of submission. May I suggest to you that submission, when properly defined and understood, is a wonderful privilege.

Furthermore, as we saw in our last study, we are all called upon to submit.

(Eph 5:21 KJV) "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."

When properly understood each role within the family is seen as a role of submission. For example, if the husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, it should be agreed that such a love and devotion is a submissive action.

Who would not agree that Jesus Christ's actions on behalf of His elect was an act of humility and submission? He gave His very life for those whom He has loved.

Now the question may be asked, why is it that the wife is seen as having a subordinate role towards her husband? To answer that question we must consider what theologians describe as the created order.

In the creation of the world we see that God made man in His own image.

(Gen 1:26 KJV) "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness:..."

This does not imply that man was made God but that man was created an image bearer.

The term "man" is used generically in this passage, as we see that man was created male and female.

(Gen 1:27 KJV) "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

The two genders, male and female, belong to the creation pattern. Men and women are equally image bearers of God. Therefore we must begin with this presupposition, male and female are equal one to another.

The male is not of more importance in God's redemptive plan than the women. We see this in the book of Galatians.

(Gal 3:28 KJV) "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus."

The fact that male and female are equal does not negate the differing God-ordained roles of each.

In Genesis 1:28, we see that Adam and Eve served together as viceregents for God.

(Gen 1:28 KJV) "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth."

It is important to note that Eve shared in this dominion mandate. But within this vice-regency God assigned differing roles for male and female. Eve was placed into a position of subordination to Adam, for she was assigned the role of "helper" or "help meet."

(Gen 2:18 KJV) "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him."

The word helper entails Adam's inadequacy, not Eve's inferiority. The expression itself assumes a complementary relationship. Man completes the women and the women completes the man. God created man and women with a need for each other. They are seen completing one another they are seen as being one.

(Gen 2:21-24 KJV) "And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; {22} And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. {23} And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. {24} Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

What a wonderful truth! Man and woman become one. With a few exceptions of singleness the Bible teaches that men and women are to marry.

According to I Corinthians, the fact that it was Eve who was taken out of Adam is used to demonstrate that it was to the man that God has given the headship role in the institution of marriage.

(1 Cor 11:3 KJV) "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."

This verse is important because it demonstrates that the husband does not have unrestricted power over the wife for the husband is to live in subjection to and under the headship of Christ.

(1 Cor 11:8-9 KJV) "For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. {9} Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man."

The idea of submission is a stumbling block to many women because they equate submission to inferiority.

The late Dr. LLoyd-Jones commenting on this particular struggle with submission made this comment; "To be subject to her husband does not mean that she is the slave of her husband, it does not mean that she is inferior to her husband as such - no, not for a moment."

If one equates submission as being less or inferior to someone else, then when one considers the roles of each member of the God-head such notions should be at once dispelled .

In our understanding of the God-head, we believe that the Three-Persons of the Trinity who make of the God-head, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are God. They are equal in being, worth, and glory. They are co-eternal and co-substantial.

There is an equality between God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Who would argue that the Holy Spirit is any less important to the Trinity than God the Son or God the Father?

Each member of the God-head are co-equal, yet for the purpose of redemption's plan, God the Son voluntarily placed Himself in subordination to God the Father, and God the Holy Spirit placed Himself in voluntarily subordination to both God the Father and God the Son.

Such subordination must never be mistaken for inferiority. My point is this, although each member of the God-head are co-equal with one another, for the purpose of redemption they assumed differing roles.

Let's apply this to the point under consideration. Men and women are created co-equal by God, but for the purpose of His plan of redemption, He has assigned to each of them differing roles to carry out that plan.

For Paul, the question of what role the wife fills toward her husband is not a matter of ability; it is a matter of purpose.

We must now answer the question, if it is God's design in creation for the wife to live in subjection to her husband, then why is it that women in general have great difficulty fulling this God-ordained role within the home? Why is it that women cringe at such language as submission?

The answer to these questions is best understood when one examines the effects of man's fall into sin upon the created order.

In Genesis chapter three we have recorded for us the historical narrative of man's high-treason against God, and the effects of that treason upon the world in general and mankind in particular.

It is beyond the scope of this lesson to examine all the ramifications and consequences of sin's entrance into the world. So, for the purposes of today's study, I would like to direct your attention to the curse of sin as it pertains to the harmony that had existed between Adam and Eve and husband and wife.

We have already seen that husband and wife were to live in perfect harmony one with the other as each of them fulfilled their God-ordained roles within the family. When sin entered the world something tragically disrupted that harmony.

We see in Genesis chapter three that because of sin man's ability to fulfill God's original mandate has been greatly affected. Notice I did not say that God's original mandate has been altered, but that man's ability to fulfill that mandate has been altered.

This is seen when one considers the last part of verse 16. In the context we have God explaining to Adam and Eve the consequences of their rebellion against Him. He does this by issuing curses upon the serpent, the man and the women.

(Gen 3:16 KJV) "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

To the woman it is said that , "thy desire shall be to thy husband,..." What does this mean?

There are basically two accepted interpretations of this passage among evangelical scholars. The first, which I consider to be false, is that it means that the desire here is that of sexual desire. In other words the wife will be physically attracted to her husband she will desire him in an intimate way.

One of the reasons why I reject this view as false is that I believe this view misses the impact of the curse. The desire here is the result of the effects of the curse of sin. Husband and wife were originally created to have a physical attraction towards one another.

And for that matter what red-blooded male would considered it a curse for his wife to be attracted him in the most intimate of ways?

I believe that the best interpretation of this passage is that desire here refers not to intimacy but to dominance.

In other words, because of sin the women would by virtue of her sinful nature now seek to reverse God's order in creation and instead of willingly seeking to live in submission to him, she would now seek to dominate and control him.

In support this position one need only turn to the next chapter to see have the same Hebrew word translated desire is used to describe sin which seeks to dominated and control Cain.

In Genesis chapter four Cain and Abel offered sacrifices unto the Lord, Abel's sacrifice was accepted and Cain's sacrifice was rejected. To encourage Cain, God instructed Cain that if he were to offer the proper sacrifice that his sacrifice would be accepted as well.

(Gen 4:7 KJV) "If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him."

The Lord warned Cain that sin lieth or croucheth at the door, the idea is that sin is waiting to pounce upon an unsuspecting victim. He goes on that sin would desire Cain, literally sin would seek to control and dominate Cain.

When we apply this understanding of the word "desire" to Eve's desire for her husband we discover that because of sin's curse she would not only resist her husbands headship but she would seek to control and dominate him.

Because of the curse of sin no woman is born into this world naturally submissive. She is born a rebel against God's ordained pattern for the home.

Not only do we see the curse of sin upon the women as it relates to her rebellion against her husband's headship, but we also see the curse of sin upon the man, as he will now seek to abuse his position of headship.

(Gen 3:16 KJV) "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee."

The word here for "rule" is not the same Hebrew word for "rule or dominion" as used in Genesis 1:28, where it refers to Adam and Eve's joint dominion over the earth, rather it refers to a new despotic kind of authoritarianism that was not part of God's original plan for man's headship.

Because of sin men would not naturally love theirs wives but rather they will seek to oppress and dominate them.

We have a similar concept in First Peter where Peter warned the Elders of the church not to lord over the flock.

(1 Pet 5:3 KJV) "Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock."

The idea here is that the Elders of the churches are not to abuse their position as leaders within the church, they must resist every temptation to take advantage of the church.

As we apply this principle to our current study we find that the husband must not use his God-ordained position of headship to take advantage of his wife. Far to many men in our churches today abuse their position of headship within the home by treating their wives as though they are nothing but sanctified household slaves.

May I suggest to you that nothing could be further from the truth of God's word!

Every husband must resist the temptation to rule over his wife in this despotic, authoritarian type of way.

Let me review for a moment. Because of the entrance of sin into the world there came with it a dramatic distortion of both the husband and the wife's role within the home. The harmony that God ordained to be enjoyed between husband and wife as they jointly carry-out their proper roles within the home has been greatly altered.

The loving submission of the wife towards her husband has now been replace with a desire to usurp his role as head, and the husband's ability to love his wife as his own flesh has been replaced with a desire to rule over her in controlling and domineering way.

This is why it takes a manifestation of God's grace through the miracle of regeneration to restore the harmony that is to exist between husband and wife.

You see the command to be filled with the Spirit is directly related to the created order. Failure on the part of the husband or the wife to obey this command will result in disharmony in the home and even more importantly it will greatly damage God's ordained object-lesson of Christ and the church.

(Eph 5:32 KJV) "This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church."

In Part II we will consider in more detail the wife's role of submission toward's her husband and to what extent that submission should go. Is this submission unqualified and unrestricted? Does it mean that the wife is to submit everything the husband desires, even if those desires involve sinful actions?

These and many other important questions will be examined as we seek to have a biblical understanding of the wife's role within the home.

 
Part II

For our lesson today, I would like to once again direct your attention to the fifth chapter of the epistle to the Ephesians. We will be studying verses 22-24.

(Eph 5:22-24 KJV) "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. {23} For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. {24} Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."

In this passage we have been considering the women's role within in the marital relationship. In our last study, I introduced the wife's role within the home is to be one of loving submission to her husband.

The reason why it is the wife who is given this primary role of submission towards her husband has nothing to do with inferiority of the women but with the creative order. Man and woman were created co-equal but for God's purpose and plan they were given differing but complementary roles within the marital union.

(1 Tim 2:11-13 KJV) "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. {12} But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. {13} For Adam was first formed, then Eve."

(1 Cor 11:8-9 KJV) "For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. {9} Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man."

Although it is certainly true that the man has been placed as head over his wife, it is not true that the man is somewhat superior to his wife in worth and being. To the man was given the role of leader and provider, to the wife was given the role of helper and child-bearer.

These differing roles do not negate the equality which exist between man and women.

(Gen 1:27 KJV) "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

The reason why I have labored over this point for the last two weeks is because we live in a day, not unlike any other day, when women in general are oppressed and treated as though they are somewhat inferior to the man. The scriptures teach that there exist an equality between man and woman.

(Gal 3:28 KJV) "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus."

Please do not misconstrue what I am saying as supportive of the feminist movement. The feminist movement as a whole is anti-God and anti-family. In their so-called pursuit of equality, they seek to do away with the God-ordained structure of the family.

The feminist movement cannot grasp the principle that there can be true genuine equality between male and female and at the same time each has a differing but complementary role within the marriage.

As we have already seen, the God-head is a beautiful illustration of how there can be true equality and at the same time, for the purpose of redemption's plan, each member of the Trinity voluntarily assumes differing roles.

The truth that God the Son is subject unto God the Father, and that God the Holy Spirit is subject unto God the Father and God the Son, in no way diminishes their equality or importance within the God-head.

The Holy Spirit is not any less important to redemption's plan than Jesus Christ who died for our sins.

If we see this principle of equality yet diversity within the God-head, it should be no problem for us to see the equality yet diversity within the family structure.

As we understand the teachings of God's inspired and infallible word, we discover that as husband and wife carry-out their God-ordained roles within the family unit, there will exist a harmony and completeness within the home.

God placed Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden in order that they would share in thier dominion over the earth, a dominion that was to be exercised as they each fulfilled the roles that God had given them at creation.

But as we have already seen something happened that drastically altered this harmony and union that existed between husband and wife. Sin entered the world. As part of the curse of sin in the world we saw that the wife instead of voluntarily living in loving submission towards her husband, would now seek to reverse God's order in creation by seeking to displace man as her head and rule over him.

On the other hand, man would no longer naturally love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. Instead, he would now seek to rule over his wife in a despotic authoritarian kind of way. (Genesis 3:16)

Sins curse has caused both the man and the women to resist God's created order for the home.

That is why the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Ephesians has laid so much stress upon the importance of the new birth. If the home is to be restored to it's original design, it will only be accomplished through the miracle of regeneration.

When someone is supernaturally born into the family of God, a miracle takes place. God restores to mankind the ability to live in the world as originally created. (There is one difference; as long as we carry about this body of unredeemed flesh, we will encounter a daily struggle with sin).

That is why the command to be filled with the Holy Spirit is so important to our study of the family. Apart from the influence and control of the Holy Spirit of God over our lives, we will not enter into the truths that are being set before us here.

Nothing but the power of God in our lives will enable us to enjoy our God given roles within the home.

May I add that the role given to the husband towards his wife is no less difficult than that given to the wife. Both must depend upon God's grace to function according to God's pattern.

Having reviewed the basic thrust of last week's material, I would like to now call your attention to the specifics of our text as it relates to the wife's role of subordination towards her husband.

(Eph 5:22 KJV) "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

(Eph 5:24 KJV) "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."

Just the reading of these passages demonstrates that the wife needs God's grace to live in obedience to this instruction. There is an in-born, or maybe it would be more accurate to say sin-born tendency within all women to have a natural repulsion to these words.

No one, whether male or female, is born with a natural desires to submit to those who have been placed over them. It doesn't matter whether it is mom or dad, school teacher or police officer, a drill sergeant, or a mall security guard, we are not naturally inclined to follow the rules.

In this text it is said of the wife that she is to submit herself to her husband. The word 'submit' is derived from the Greek word 'hupostasso', which means to voluntarily relinquish one's rights in order to serve someone else. It means to come under the authority of another.

In the marital bond, the wife assumes the role of submission. She voluntarily places herself under the authority or headship of her husband. She is to do so willingly and without resentment towards her husband.

For the wife to manifest an outward submission towards her husband without the inward desire of the heart is but a charade. The biblical teaching of submission involves the motive of the heart as well as outward conformity.

The question I would like to ask each wife is; do you have a longing in your heart to live with your husband in this way? If not, may I suggest that you are not living under the influence and control of the Holy Spirit!

The truly submissive and Christ-like wife will take great joy and pleasure in submitting to her husband whether he is a godly example or not. My heart goes out to those of you who are married to a husband who does not assume his spiritual role as leader within the home. But his disobedience or lack of spiritual fortitude does not diminish in the least your responsibility towards God to obey this teaching. We will look at this aspect of submission in a little more detail later in the message.

In both verses 22 and 24, we see that this submission is to be directed towards "your own husband."

(Eph 5:22 KJV) "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

(Eph 5:24 KJV) "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."

These verses suggest that the wife is under no obligation to submit to every other male, but to her own husband alone. The bottom line is that it is to your own husband that you are called upon to submit.

Even within the church where we have Elders who serve as overseer's of the body, it is to the husband that the wife owes her primary submission. That is one reason why I believe that if a woman in the church has a problem with sin, we should first address the husband because it is the husband that is the head of the wife, not the Elders of the church.

Now there is a dimension within the church structure where every member of the family is to live in subjection to those spiritual leaders whom God has placed over them.

(Heb 13:17 KJV) "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you."

This passage causes me much fear and trembling because I know that one day I will stand before God and give a full account of how I have lead you, especially as it pertains to the teaching of God's word. This is a solemn warning to all. We must never take our God-given roles within the family or church lightly because we will all give an account unto God on how we utilizes the gifts and opportunities that He has given us to serve Him.

As we continue this subject of submission, what is the manner in which the wife is to submit herself unto her own husband? In other words, what is to be the wife's primary motive or goal as she fulfills her God-ordained role within the home?

(Eph 5:22 KJV) "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

We see here that the manner or way the wife is to submit towards her husband is as unto the Lord. The submission of every wife, and indeed every Christian for that matter, whether male or female, is to be towards the Lord Jesus Christ. The underlying principle of submission is that we view our role of submission as a service unto Jesus Christ.

The Christ-like wife views submission to her husband as a great opportunity to serve the Lord.

(1 Cor 10:31 KJV) "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."

What an awesome thought! Wives, submit to your husbands to the glory of God. Oh! that God would be glorified in our homes.

There can be no more compelling motive or reason for submission than this. Every Christian wife who desires above all else to please her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, will find little difficulty in her role of submission. In fact, the godly woman will consider it a great delight to serve her God in this capacity.

At this juncture in our lesson, I must point out that the phrase, "as unto the Lord" must not be confused with the unconditional submission that the wife is to render to the Lord.

The late Puritan writer Charles Hodge explained this passage this way, "The 'as' does not express similarity, as though the obedience of the wife to her husband is was to be as devout and unconditional as that which she is bound to render to the Lord; but her obedience to her husband is regarded as part of her obedience to the Lord."

This leads us to a very important question. What is to be the extent and limitation of the wife's submission toward her husband?

Based upon this passage in Ephesians, there are those who would have you to believe that the wife's submission towards her husband is to be unlimited and unrestricted.

(Eph 5:24 KJV) "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."

There have been those who have referred to this text to support their erroneous view that even if the husband would instruct his wife to sin they must obey. I even had one lady tell me that if her husband were to ask her to commit adultery that she is compelled by this verse to obey her husband.

These three words, "in every thing" does not mean that the authority of the husband is unlimited! To interpret this passage to mean that the wife is to submit to her husband absolutely with no restrictions is utter nonsense and goes against the clear teaching of scripture that the individual is accountable before God for his or her own sins.

If the husband should demand of his wife to do something contrary to the moral and spiritual principles established by God Himself, her submission would be unwarranted.

In all the relationships of life there is a higher authority, and that higher authority is God. No man has the right or authority to demand of his wife, or anyone else for that matter, to do that which is expressly forbidden in the pages of God's holy word. Nor does the husband have the right to refuse the wife from doing that which God has commanded.

Let's look at one example of each:

1) The husband asks his wife to go to a movie where she knows there will be immorality placed before her eyes. Wwhat is she to do? My answer is that we must obey God rather than man. Therefore, because the wife knows that such a movie violates God's revealed word, she is to lovingly refuse to go. No man has the right to demand of his wife to do that which God as forbidden.

2) The husband forbids his wife from reading and studying the word of God. What is she to do? Again my answer is that she must obey God rather than man. No man has the right to refuse his wife from doing what God has commanded her to do!

The man's role as head in the home does not extend beyond Christ's role as head over the husband.

(1 Cor 11:3 KJV) "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God."

The man's authority within the home does not extend beyond the bounds and limitations of Christ as the husband's head. The husband has no right or authority to expect of his wife to do what Jesus Christ would not expect of her.

Let's look at a military analogy. Within the military you have varying degrees of rank and authority. Those of a lesser rank are responsible to follow the orders of those who are in command over them. We would all agree that the commanding officer of a ship has the right to give orders to his subordinates and that it is expexted that they follow those orders. But what happens if the commanding officer gives an order that is against the law or military code? Is the subordinate to blindly follow? Of course not. If the orders are clearly against the law, the subordinate is to respectfully resist the order as being an unlawful order.

Let's apply this analogy to the extent of the woman's submission towards her husband. When the women is confronted with a demand which goes against God's law she is to respectfully refuse his demands as being an unlawful order.

No man has the authority to bind upon another that which is contrary to God's law.

Let's look at another example; the scriptures teach that we are to submit to the governmental powers.

(Rom 13:1 KJV) "Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God."

In fact, in this chapter the Apostle Paul goes on to teach that if you resist the powers that be, you are resisting God Himself.

(Rom 13:2 KJV) "Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation."

But does the command to submit to governmental powers mean that the government has unlimited and uncontrolled authority over our lives? The answer is no!

The Apostle Peter was faced with a dilemma that involved the powers that be forbidding him to preach the gospel of Christ. How did he respond?

(Acts 4:19 KJV) "But Peter and John answered and said unto them, Whether it be right in the sight of God to hearken unto you more than unto God, judge ye."

(Acts 5:29 KJV) "Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men."

The principle is this; the government has no authority over us to bind upon us what God's law forbids. In such a case, we must always obey God as the higher power. Now this may mean that by our resisting of these cival powers we may be called upon to suffer persecution as did the disciples, but we must be willing to obey God none-the-less.

One writer explained it this way, "No superior, whether master, parent, or magistrate, can make it obligatory on us either to do what God forbids, or not to do what God commands."

The parallel passage of Ephesians 5:22 is helpful. It is found in the book of Colossians.

(Col 3:18 KJV) "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."

This verse could be translated, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is proper in the Lord."

The point is this, the wife's submission to her husband is regulated by that which is proper or fitting in the Lord. Oh that God would give us men in the home that would lead their families after the pattern of Christ!

The wife's role of submission towards her husband is of such vital importance to God's plan that when it is not carried out, it is said that the word of God is blasphemed.

(Titus 2:5 KJV) "To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

Blasphemy involves the rejection of God's rule and authority over your life. The gravity of this rebellion cannot be overstated. The authority of God is at stake! When the wife refuses to submit to her husband, it is blasphemy towards the living God. It is no small thing to rebell against God. Therefore, each wife must be careful that she not disobey God at this point.

For our remaining time together, I would like to examine an important question, what about the Christian wife who is married to either an unsaved man or she is married to a disobedient Christian?

How does Ephesians 5:22, 24 apply to her?

It is one thing to obey a husband who loves God and loves his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. But what about the husband who does not know the Lord or maybe he knows the Lord but he is not presently serving Christ as he should? Does God expect the Christian wife to lovingly submit to such a husband?

It is a sad reality of life that there are many godly women who have found themselves in this situation, and my heart truly goes out to them. But we must answer our question with an emphatic yes!

The fact that the husband is not fulfilling his proper role towards his wife does not negate the wife's responsibility to fulfill her proper role towards her husband.

The Apostle Peter addressed this very important subject in his letter to the church.

(1 Pet 3:1 KJV) "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;"

The context of I Peter deals with the Christian's attitude and behavior towards those who do not treat them properly. In chapter 3, Peters addresses the wife's responsibility to submit to a husband who is not obeying the word of God. It may be an unbelieving husband or a believing husband who is living in disobedience. The text can be applied under either sceniro.

How is she to respond to such a husband? She is to respond the very same way the Christian wife is to respond to a husband who is obedient to the Lord. She is to lovingly submit.

To further illustrate his point, Peter refers back to the example of the sufferings of Jesus Christ on behalf of His sheep.

This is seen in the word likewise, in other words in the same manner as you were previously taught regarding Christ submission to those who opposed Him, so to are the wives to submit to thier disobedient husbands.

According to chapter two and verses 18-21, we discover that submission in not to be restricted towards those who treat you fairly, rather we see that Christ-like submissions is best manifested when it is directed towards the undeserving.

Jesus has given by the example of His own life what it means to submit in less than an ideal environment.

(1 Pet 2:21 KJV) "For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:"

(1 Pet 2:22-23 KJV) "Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: {23} Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:"

Jesus was able to suffer at the hands of others because He committed Himself to His Father. The Christian wife who is called upon to submit to an undeserving husband must put her trust in God who is Sovereign over the affairs of her life.

What should be the goal of the wife who is married to an unbeliever or disobedient husband? Her goal is that she would win over her disobedient husband by following the example of Christ.

(1 Pet 3:1 KJV) "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (behavior or conduct of life) of the wives;"

Did you notice what the Apostle Peter has said? He said that the husband may be won over without the wife saying a word. It is like winning a war without having to fire a shot. This does not mean that the wife is not to talk to her husband but that she is not to "preach at him." or badger him with the word of God.

Dear ladies who have been called upon to submit under less than ideal conditions, never underestimate the power and influence of a life lived after the pattern and example of Christ.

(1 Pet 3:2 KJV) "While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear."

(1 Pet 3:4 KJV) "But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."

The word "behold" indicates that the Christian wife lives in such a godly way that the husband cannot help but take notice.

What is a wife to do when she is married to a husband who is disobedient to the word of God? She is to lovingly submit to him, and at the same time she is to set before him a life which testifies of the power and beauty of the gospel.

Instead of nagging your husband or criticizing him to others, try modeling Jesus before him. Such a godly life will do more to bring your husband to Christ or to restore a husband to fellowship than a thousand words said against him.

In closing, may I remind you of the over-arching principle that is being illustrated when the husband and wife fulfill their God-ordained roles within the home and that is your marriage union is to be a visible object-lesson to the world of Jesus Christ and the church.

(Eph 5:32 KJV) "This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church."

This article is a rough transcript of the original message that was preached by Pasator and teacher David W. Roth on 7/11/99, at Faith Bible Church located at 372 Nelms Lane, Va. Beach, Va. 23462. Faith Bible Church provides audio cassette of this lesson in its entirety.